I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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