she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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