Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
