just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
