she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
