Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
