idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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