i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think a kid would responsible me up
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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