I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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