i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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