I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize