That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
