i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
