I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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