I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
