I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
