You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
