We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
