i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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