Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
