This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
