whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Randomize
