My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
