remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
