I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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