Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
