For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
