Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
