I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
