Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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