I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
