My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
