thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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