from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
