Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
