Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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