When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...