Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life