Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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