Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
