remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
tell me about the fingering
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