Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We need a shit load of segways right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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