Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
