stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
