I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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