i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
