i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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