If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
