There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
