I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize