Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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