yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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