He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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