He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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