so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize