I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
