I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
