i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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