my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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