am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
