She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's always time for handjobs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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