Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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