Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
