I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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